Grief is a deeply pain-filled response to loss, and in the words of Megan Devine, it is love in it’s most wild and painful form.

Our culture doesn’t know how to deal with grief well. We attempt to contain grief in many ways, through work policies, clinical diagnoses, and in our responses to people grieving. We’ve lost sight of what’s normal and healthy in grief. The impact of this cultural approach runs deep in all of us, and sometimes we’re our own harshest critic when living with grief.

Grief is deeply personal, and can look dramatically different from person to person. It can be experienced as a tidal wave of emotion or as a disorienting numbness of all emotion. While the “stages of grief” can be helpful for some, these stages are not linear or universal.

The experience of grief impacts every aspect of a person’s life, affecting their physical health, mental well-being, and social interactions. Physically, grief can show up as fatigue, sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, and physical pain such as headaches or muscle aches. Some people experience weakened immune function, leading to more frequent illnesses. Cognitive effects can include difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, and confusion. Socially, it is normal for some grieving individuals to withdraw from friends and family, leading to isolation or strained relationships. Recognizing these side effects and seeking support through therapy, support groups, or other resources can help manage the impact of grief.